What a girl wants…
Gracie- So what are you thinking?
Kris- Hmmmm actually I haven’t been thinking much and it’s been nice.
G- Oh yea?
K- Yea. My last day of school was Thursday and just been working the last 4 days.
G- Oh yea, thats right, You haven’t even been in second life very much lately.
K- Yea, I know. Been too busy working and sleeping as you can tell.
G- So what is new. I know you’ve been reading that book.
K- Oh yea. “Eat Pray Love.” It reminds me of the conversations we have together.
G- Oh yea?
K- Yea. The Author also has similar conversations with herself. Her inner soul. Her unconscious/subconscious. It’s pretty amazing.
G- Well I could have told you that. I really like talking to you.
K- Yea. Me too. When we first started, I wasn’t sure if I was going crazy. I also wondered if the people who read this would think I was going crazy.
G- Who cares what other people think. You sooo need to get over that and btw, you aren’t going crazy. Well ok, maybe you already are. But you’re an artist so comes with the territory.
K- Hahaha. Well don’t tell my Art History Professor. But Yea, I know I agree. I tend to believe in a lot of the tropes that artists are known by. This book though, actually is helping. I am reading about myself in the words of the author Elizabeth Gilbert. I feel like this book was written about me.
K- Well some of the life experiences are different of course. But, her thoughts, ideas, emotions, personality seem so much like my own. And I am realizing, it is ok to feel as I do. To think as I do. To act as I do.
G- Wow, that is a huge idea.
K- Yea. I know. I have been hiding for way too long. I am tired of hiding. I know I have a long way to go in finding myself. I am already on this journey, but I feel like I am getting somewhere.
G- That’s great.
K- Yea. I mean I admit I still am not eating that well. I am eating a little better than I was, but still have had M&M’s and Ice Cream.
G- Well, that’s ok. You don’t want to totally deprive yourself.
K- Well yea. I need to learn the phrase “everything in moderation.” I hear it all the time, but don’t know how to implement it yet. It is something I need to learn.
K- I think I am a lot less stressed since school ended too.
G- Yea, I can sense that. You seem a little more like yourself.
K- Hmmm that is an interesting statement. “You seem a little more like yourself.” What do you mean?
G- Well, I think, especially seeing you at work, that you are more open and outgoing. Not that you weren’t before, but you seem to be smiling more and talking to people more.
K- Well I think that has a lot to do with the work environment lately. The last 4 days I’ve worked have been very smooth. The people I have worked with have been really great to be around. And I have been less stressed. So I think it’s a combination of things.
G- Yea, but you are feeling better, aren’t you?
K- Yea, I am. But again, I think its because I am less stressed. I actually did my Christmas cards and am trying to get in the Christmas spirit. Even listening to Christmas music at work.
G- Oh yea, I think everyone is getting sick of that by the way.
K- Hahaha. Well, it’s not loud, and I think It’s probably gonna get old fast anyway.
K- I decided I want to volunteer somewhere. Help out with a charity. With people who are less fortunate than I am. Jan gave me info on MEND, and I realized that CSUN is also involved with them. I have the application and am going to volunteer a couple hours a week I think.
G- WOW, that’s great.
K- Yea. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want lately. What makes me happy. Honestly, I haven’t been able to name much that makes me happy. I was trying to think of instances where I have been truelly ecstatic, and what made me that way. I could hardly think of any. I honestly don’t know. Maybe I haven’t experienced being truelly happy yet.
G- Wow you need to get on that then.
K- Yea, I know. I know. Hmmm just thought of one time I was happy. It had to do with a guy. We had talked and decided to date and he kissed me. Just a little peck, but it was really great. I remember afterwards feeling light as a feather and so excited about the possibilities. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out. I wish they would have, but they didn’t. Another time I was happy was when I was in Europe. I remember walking through Paris, thinking…OMG I’m in Paris. I’M IN PARIS!!!
G- So what you’re saying is having a lover and traveling around the world would make you happy.
K- Ummmm yea, I think so… Hahahaha
G- Well you know what you have to do then.