My Imaginary Wall
My imaginary wall exists in my head. It's something I've built that stops me, holds me back from doing the things I want, need, or have to do. This barrier manifests physically through my struggles with eating disorder, anxiety, and the paralyzing fear of taking up space in a world that tells me bodies like mine shouldn't exist.
The Imaginary Wall installations use thousands of colorful dots applied with community participation to visualize these invisible barriers while simultaneously deconstructing them. Each dot represents a moment of possibility, a crack in what holds us back. The wall isn't just personal—it's built from the contradictions of being an artist who needs to survive while creating work that critiques the very systems demanding commodification.
Every day I work on breaking through this wall, but sometimes it gets built higher and higher. The colorful dots become both obstacle and breakthrough—thousands of small moments, small choices, small acts of resistance against the voices that say I'm not enough. Each circle represents a fragment of hope, a tiny crack in the construction.
The wall is transparent, penetrable, made of light and color rather than concrete—suggesting that what holds us back is often as insubstantial as it is powerful. The dots multiply across surfaces, spilling beyond boundaries, refusing containment. Through community participation, individual struggles become collective action. What began as my personal question—How can I make more space for myself physically and mentally?—evolved into: How can we make more space for each other?
This series documents the ongoing battle between self-limitation and self-liberation. I'm seeking that BANG SNAP POW moment—the spiritual breakthrough when everything makes sense, when I overcome my fears and live a free, beautiful life. I know healing is about baby steps, sometimes two steps forward and one step back.
This is my way of working through and figuring out what's next—making visible the invisible barriers that keep us from becoming who we're meant to be. The imaginary wall is real in its effects but constructed in its nature, which means it can also be deconstructed, dot by dot, breath by breath, until breakthrough becomes inevitable.
