Bruno, 2 month old great dane- (had to share the cute puppy pic)
It has been 4 months since the night of my Bald and the Beautiful performance for the Artist21 series here in Los Angeles. What a crazy and exciting 4 months. Today I sit at my desk, behind my computer, reminiscing about my life since I chopped off all my hair.
The other day, I told someone that I was recovering from an eating disorder. This is the very first time I said ‘recovering.’ I really thought about what that meant and if it was true. While I still have disordered eating issues (which as my friends point out, everyone does) I feel I am finally on the right track to eating healthy for nourishment rather than comfort. While I still may not be comfortable in my skin, I am comfortable and happy in my life. Every day, I find I know myself more and more, and I trust myself which is a huge accomplishment.
I went to a yoga session last week. The class was Yoga Nidra or guided relaxation. At the end of the session, I was talking to the woman who led the class and I told her I had a hard time relaxing and felt a bit anxious. She said she could tell but she could also tell I have a lot of support (and love) within me (or something to this effect). And she told me to trust myself. I will never forget this.
About a month ago, I was at work walking down the hall. A woman (hospital worker) I have never met in my life stopped me and said,”Whenever I see you, you are always so cheerful and smiling. I see so much energy and light around you. Did you just come out from the Matrix?” (Of course, if she only knew!! LOL) We joked about the red pill or blue pill and then she said, “I bet you see so much brilliant bright color around you.” I said, “You have no idea.” And that was it. She had no idea about my art at all. She had just seen me a few times walking through the hospital halls. It was an amazing and enlightening conversation. I felt after leaving that someone finally got me. I felt that maybe because I am becoming the woman I want to be, everyone else is seeing it too. It was a comforting feeling.
So the past week or so, I have been thinking of coloring my hair. Now when I say hair, I mean my buzz…LOL I have continued to get it buzzed since the performance in July. I like it short. I don’t have to mess with it. I forget about it. Hair is not important to me. Life is more important.
Susan Kurland and I at Loft at Liz’s opening 11-10-12 (Photo by Marlene Picard)
I decided I wanted a change. I wanted something fun and different. I had asked a few friends about coloring it and on a whim I went and had it done this morning…
Here it is… purple!!! Just kidding!!! (Although I think the color suits me :D)
and…
I like it!! Let’s see what the next few months have to offer!!!