To my guy friend,
Why do you keep asking me if I’m dating anyone? Of course I’m not. Who wants me? No one. I hear guys talking all the time about physically beautiful women they meet and date. They have ‘trophy’ wives and girlfriends. I guess I should be happy I am not put on a pedestal like that. But sometimes I want to be. I want to be adored, wanted, loved by a guy. No one wants me. Have you seen me lately? I weight 240 pounds. I am huge. I am fat. I am tired of being unwanted. I have a great personality. I’m witty, intelligent, fun. I am beautiful on the inside, but not acceptably beautiful physically. Why won’t someone love me as I deserve to be loved?
I blame a large part of my feelings about myself and the idea of beauty on the media, society, ego, TV and advertising. Physical beauty is pushed on people so much, there is absolutely no other alternative. Why is physical beauty so important? Even if I thought I was beautiful physically, what does that matter if no one else thinks so? Is there something innate in people to want to strive for youth and beauty in themselves and others? Of course people want to feel good about themselves. But most people go far beyond that because they seek acceptance. Why? What if they don’t achieve it? Do they feel unfulfilled? Unhappy? unsuccessful? Why is physical beauty so important? Why is it so desirable? Why is fat so disgusting? Or is it just me? am I projecting my own insecurities onto others Or am I looking at a reflection of myself?
Your friend Kris