"Art is restoration: The idea is to repair the damages that are inflicted in life, to make something that is fragmented - which is what fear and anxiety do to a person - into something whole." ~Louise Bourgeois
My work is personal, intense, emotional, violent and lonely. I am a conceptual autobiographer performing my life through art. I take hundreds of selfies from unflattering angles to continue the conversation about perception and self worth. I de(con)struct previous work and personal items to create stories of transformation and self-awareness. I spent months in the early pandemic creating meditative drawings. They are cut up. I saved drop clothes from my previous painting encounters. They are cut up. I shredded my 'skinny' photos. I drew attention to ideas of beauty in young girls by painting their beauty salons and kitchens. They are cut up. I brought my virtual avatar to the real world by painting mannequins in their likeness. They are cut up. I have paintings from over 25 years ago that were stretched and on wood. They are cut up. Still focusing on body image I buzzed my hair. It is in a jar, cut up. I wore wigs to art openings. Those are cut up. All of these fragmented pieces come together to 'paint' a wholistic picture of my life that has been lost. The repetitive practice of drawing, painting and cutting, is a performance, a meditation. My work is a ritual, an altar to loss, grief, death and ultimately reconstruction. The resulting work becomes an installation where I take up the space that I have been denying myself for so long.
Through my work, I am creating an interface of my body-based life experience. Each day in the studio I own the permission that was given to me to love what I love, not dismiss what seems too easy and focus on my superpower of learning from dichotomy's such as beauty vs austere, vulnerable vs conformity, pleasure vs security, fear vs authenticity. My work realizes that both at the same time are true, valid and worthy.