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Day 46 of Project 365: Anxiety

I had my first panic attack almost 5 years ago. It scared me half to death. Literally. After It occurred I did everything I could to learn about anxiety and overcome it. Through counseling I realized I had an eating disorder and was able to work my way to recovery. Over the last few years I have learned to relax, breath and talk myself out of anxiety. Almost. Sometimes I forget. My mind forgets. Recently I have been feeling some anxiety again. I get that rush of warmth and adrenaline through my body and a scary feeling that something is wrong. Normally it is centered around food. So of course I am afraid I am having an allergic reaction to something I ate. Sigh!!

But, here I sit, just fine. My body is sore, maybe from tension and I am tired, but I am fine. No allergies, no heart attack, no throat swelling. I have to keep telling myself I will be ok and I am. I hate going through this alone so I have my journal. Why do we deal with anxiety? How do people live without it? What happened to my younger self? That self that dealt with stress so much easier. I want to know here again.


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